Tonight I hear the weathers nice in San Fransisco

Weirdest thing ever... I can't make a choice about going to the theater, one of my favorite things to do, or not going. I don't want to take anyone, not a date, not anything. Just a friend would be perfect.


I see people and I know they are fine with moving on so quickly after a break-up, I know their fine with going on dates and dating other people soon after the fact but I am not the least bit like that. Especially not after this time. This time it's different, it was different. He is different, he was different. It was one of those things that only happen once in a lifetime. The second I laid eye on him my heart felt home, real home. The minute we talked my mind was hooked. The hour we touched my soul found heaven. How could I let go so fast and so soon after he left? How can I look into any guys eyes and see trust and love? For me I can't let go as swiftly as he can, but I promise to try and forget him, forgetting is my only hope, because getting over him is just a waste. For me I can't look or even speak to another guy without already having built an impenetrable wall of bricks up in front of him, a wall that I'd love if everyone just let it protect me, a wall I like in the way of anyone else getting as close as he did, to me.

Decomposition

After Lunch today my family sat and had a normal casual conversation but my mom reached out and told me something she's never said to me before, "When you find the right one for you, the good guy, you have to do everything to make it happen" She's always telling me how men are all the same but not for some dumb theory just on account of their uncontrollable hormones, they can't help it. Her telling me to chase the hormone craze guy that is right for me made me realize I had the "right" guy all along, the real one, no doubt about it whatsoever. The inconvenient part was that I let things go because, I don't know why, because my carelessness or maybe my stubbornness. Now I plan on dedicating the rest of my life to my other soul mate, my dreams. I know they'll be other right guys out there but none that I want. It is a good thing to realize I had the best, I'm thankful for having him be the "right" guy and no one or nothing else.